I don’t want to go to my counseling appointment tomorrow. I know this is hypocritical of me, considering I’m the one who’s been nagging my mum about how I need more support, but I feel like they’re not really listening to what I think I need, they’re just throwing all these random options at me thinking ‘that’ll do’. I mean in reality, I know I probably need both the nutritionist AND counseling to help me make progress, but I think that the nutritionist really is the first priority here. My appointment tomorrow is with this lady that I first saw nearly two years ago, before I was referred to outpatient services, before I was diagnosed and before anyone really knew how sick I was. I only saw her twice because I just had this weird vibe from her, we didn’t click and I didn’t think she could help me. I never thought I was going to see her again, and now tomorrow it’s going to be SO awkward having to see and talk to her again, to the point where I feel like I might not be able to get the full benefit of the counseling because I just feel very apprehensive about seeing her and opening up to her. I just wanted a fresh start, with a new person who I hadn’t met before so they have no preconceived ideas about myself or my eating disorder, is that too much to ask for? I will do an update tomorrow on how the appointment goes..I just want to get it over and done with to be honest.